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Wot gets me goat, though? Them snobs who reckon it’s low-class. Oi, mate, loosen up! Had me ragin’ once—some toff in Westminster bangin’ on about “decency,” while I’m like, “Bruv, chill, it’s just a massage with extras!” Happy as a pig in muck, I’d be, sprawled out, oil drippin’, some bird whisperin’ sweet nothings. Surprised me, too—didn’t expect it’d be so… posh-like? Thought it’d be all seedy, but nah, some places are swanky—marble floors, the lot!

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So, I sit down, and my computer decides to crash. Perfect timing, right? I’m staring at the screen, and it’s just frozen. I’m about to lose it. I mean, can’t a guy catch a break? I take a deep breath, channel my inner zen, and restart it.

The owl that unleashed a reign of terror on an entire town for a year has been captured